This weekend we bid farewell to the Bay Area.
No longer will I be a “Real Housewife of Silicon Valley”. (Not that I was ever really a “housewife” while living here, but that’s neither here nor there.) For the time being, my business cards will no longer read, “Girl marries geek. They run off to Silicon Valley and live happily ever after”, because apparently that’s not how this particular chapter of our story is supposed to end.
It has been a long and trying road. We’ve gone back and forth on this decision at least a million times (today) and always come back to the same place– one foot out the door, the other firmly planted in the Bay Area.
There were so many factors to consider and directions to possibly go, each with an equally pleasant outcome. Despite our best efforts to make something (anything) work out in Silicon Valley, everything ultimately fell through, and Mike and I had to make the tough choice to move away from a place that we have grown to love so very, very much.
While fighting wave after wave of disappointing news crippled our spirits, it was our children who remained strong. As long as we were all together, they were happy– giggling at their favorite TV shows, chattering about school and T-ball, debating what do this afternoon… Same old. Same old.
“I love you,” I would overhear one say, and the other would respond, “Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Banana Phone!” because they are silly like that.
Of course, they have had their share of squabbles, as siblings always do. They fight over the most ridiculous things… “He’s talking to me!… She’s NOT talking to me!… Ahhh, that’s MY dinosaur!… She’s sitting too close to me!… He kicked my leg!” How maddening? As if there ‘s nothing else of note going on in our lives.
On the other hand, it’s refreshing to know that to my very young son and my very young daughter, there IS nothing else of note going on in our lives. It’s Mike and I who seem to crave the placid, predictable suburban existence of our uneventful youths. All our kids have ever known is a life of being uprooted ever few years and total chaos. Why should this be any different… and Gaaaahhhh, it’s MY turn with the iPad!
I’ve also seen how the stress and turmoil of our situation has made them stick together. My daughter is two years old and asks over and over again, “Can we go to our home now?”. Each time, I die a little bit inside, which is to say 1.43 billion times a day. I can’t stand to repeat the words, “We don’t live there any more. We’re staying in a hotel until Scout finishes school. We’re going to Texas to stay with Lolo and Lola (my parents) until we figure things out.”
So it’s my son who gently explains it to her for the 1.44th billion time. It was also my son who cuddled up next to me last night and whispered, “You don’t have to be sad any more, Mommy. Lou and I are going to be okay. We have each other.”
No matter what, I will always remember the Bay Area as the place where my children became best friends.
I will hold in my heart the way they held one another by the hand and weathered whatever came our way. I know that this experience will make them stronger, bond them closer, and sharpen their resilience… even if it does kill me.
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I am holding out. I am willing to bet that you will drive all that way to your parents and end up with a job offer back in the Bay.
Big {hugs} to you girl! Call me when you can…I’m thinking, and rooting for you!
Grace, this was a wonderful tribute to your kids. They are wise, just like you.
We all face difficulties in life, trust me, we’ve had our share. You’ll make it. Keep the faith.
Oh your post brought tears of joy for you mixed with a little sadness from me. I love you dearly and your darling family too and am so glad to know we will see each other whenever and where ever as we continue our long distance Wonder Tech Twin relationship via Skype. Wishing you and your family all the best as you get settled in Texas and you know where to find me whenever you want to talk! xo
Awww, Grace, that was so sweet. I missed you on Tuesday because I wanted to give you one last awkward hug before you left.
My family moved across the country twice when I was little and those times were when we were all closest to each other. No doubt your kids will continue to support each other–and you. Best of luck with the move. The best part about the Silicon Valley in this case is that it’s full of really smart people figuring out new ways to make Texas feel not so far away.
What a beautiful post! Big things await you! And even though these times are tough, I think we are always where we need to be.
I lived in the same house, same town, pretty much my entire life. And yet in 19 years of marriage, we’ve moved our family, our *kids,* 16 times. What a totally different childhood than my own!! And when they’re so young, it’s hard to guess what impact that will have, but I can tell you now that some of my kids are older, they’ve turned out just fine. They’ve become each other’s best friends. They’ve *learned* how to make friends wherever they go. They each have a rich sense of adventure. It’s always been harder on my husband and I, because we’re so terrified we’re making the wrong decisions (including the decision we made – on TWO different occasions – to move back in with his parents while we worked through some transitions). My heart truly, truly goes out to you. I know what it is to feel discouraged and uncertain, with a heavy heart full of cradled dreams that you’re yearning to give a place to grow. Be strong and have hope and know that there are so many of us loving you.
A special post and my wishes for all the best in your new home!
Such a bittersweet post. I am so thankful that you have such amazing kids. And that they have amazing parents, no matter where you live.
So so sweet when our kids band together to support each other. I’m sorry that you have to make such a tough transition but it sounds like you have more than enough love to make it work.
It was so not nice of you to make me bawl like I am, but what a beautiful post. With kids like that, you can go anywhere. Good luck with the move.
I’m so sad you are leaving. I hope things work out for all of you. You never know what lies just around the next bend. Love to all of you!
Grace, your love for your family clearly shows and it’s that love that helped teach your children how important family is. Despite the annual moves, I always had my big brother to help me along. I’m sure my mom would say that she heard a lot of the ‘get away, he’s touching me, she’s breathing too loud’ comments. Just like you. But that’s just love disguised (you don’t really want your parents to know you actually like your sibling!).
I wish you and Mike the best no matter where that is. I’ve heard the TX tech scene is giving CA a run for its money! You will always be my friend, Grace. And you will always be my favorite Techspert!
Be safe and know that no matter where you go, true friends (and family) will always follow.
Sorry to hear you are leaving that area, but I’m sure something good will happen. And don’t worry about moving about with the kids. I think it will make them resilient and learn that home is where the people you love are and not some pieces of wood we go to every day. It helps us remember what is important.
Grace,
I wish you the best of luck in Texas and sometimes a change is all we need to turn things in the right direction. We are contemplating a move out of LA ourselves – looking at the DC area – even though its not much cheaper – but the job market seems more promising. Good luck in Texas – if we drive by during our transition I’ll wave. 🙂