I met Project Runway’s Anya Ayoung-Chee at the Clever Girls Collectives’ Ladies who Tech Happy Hour at the super swank Wynn/Encore hotel in Las Vegas. We both were in town for CES 2012 and taking a much needed break from the frenetic show floor.

I am normally terrible when it comes to recognizing celebrities, but I knew Anya immediately. It was as if I spent an hour with her in my living room every week for fourteen weeks in a row. Oh wait… I did.

I adored her on the ninth season of Project Runway, cheered along as she won the competition, and was thrilled at the chance of meeting her in person. She is as lovely and gracious seated across a table as she appeared to be on the show. We had a terrific conversation, and as a testament to what a tech-savvy and dedicated blogger I am, it did not occur to me to RECORD any of it until halfway in.

That night, I ran back to my hotel room (on the less then swanky side of the Strip) to record every bit of wisdom, inspiration, and insight gained from my fifteen minutes of rubbing elbows with fame. So, how did this graphic artist turned beauty queen turned reality show sensation win it all at Project Runway within just FOUR MONTHS of learning to sew?

Focus on What Matters. Forget the Rest.

What I found most inspiring about Anya was actually her inability to sew, and I told her so.

You could turn any garment that Laura, Josh, or Victor made inside out and wear it. The craftsmanship was so flawless. My clothes were probably a mess up close, but you couldn’t tell on the runway.

As Michael Kors repeats season after season of the show, “It’s Project Runway, not Project Seamstress”. Anya latched on to that idea quickly and knew exactly where  to spend her energy. She focused on her talents and did not let the other stuff (the things that didn’t matter anyway) bog her down.

She could have beaten herself up over her supposed lack of sewing abilities. She could have obsessed over all the reasons why she “shouldn’t” and “can’t” and “what if”, all the while talking herself out of even trying. Instead, she decided to win.

Everyone is filling a role that they think they ought to be.

The funny thing about TV is that we use it to watch “reality” when we know perfectly well that it is anything but… Scenes are edited. Words are taken out of context. Other things are added. Yet, we still want to believe that it’s all truth and goodness.

I’ve only been on one side of it, so I asked Anya what it was really like to be on Project Runaway. The REAL Project Runway.

The cattiness and drama on the show was… surprise… edited into the show. According to Anya the entire group was very supportive of one another and had a strong sense of camaraderie.  Remarks seen on TV were taken out of context or completely forgotten.

This made it awkward to watch the show together, but we all understood that what you saw on TV wasn’t real.

When I asked what it was like to be judged on the runway week after week, she admitted that it truly was nerve-wracking.

“Michael Kors was so funny,” she added. She knew not to take his remarks personally, but use it as advice. “Heidi, Tim, Michael, Nina. They all wanted us to succeed and they were only trying to help. They just seemed harsher when on TV because that was the role they were supposed to play”.

I’m very guilty to taking any sort criticism to heart.  My first reaction is to lash out, defend myself, or just freak out. In reality, there can be a lot of good to be gained from criticism– an opportunity to do better, suggestions for improvements, holes in your plan. However you want to take it, it’s just as important to consider the source. Perhaps, they too are simply “playing a role” that they think they need to fill.

Get to work.

When Tim Gunn visited Anya at home, she had completed very little. At the time, there was civil unrest in her home country, a lot going on in her personal life, and the added pressure of competing on the show. “The stress was just so overwhelming!” she said, and it showed in her work. She flitted from one idea to another, accomplishing nearly nothing. How many of us can relate to this? 

The best advice from Tim was to just muscle through.

Treat my workroom as an intensive incubator. Start draping muslin. Get to work.

I asked how she was able to find her focus during the show. While the show was broadcast once a week, the challenges came one right after the other with very little time to rest and regroup in between. “It was grueling,” says Anya, but she credits her success to remaining focused and being cut off from the rest of the world. All together. All in it together. There were no distractions or outside delays.

It’s no surprise that the most productive time is alone time, free of interruptions and distraction. And, the best way to get alone time is to demand it.  Set aside specific hours in which you turn off your phone, block social media, and don’t hold any meetings. Shut the door, sit down, and focus nonstop.

In other words, GET TO WORK.

If you are using Blogger (Blogspot) as your blogging platform, who am I to judge. It’s simple to design, easy to maneuver, and integrates seamlessly with Google Analytics, Feedburner, Picasa, Google Reader…  Now that I think of it, it’s pretty gosh darn awesome if you ask me.

Google has even updated the Dashboard so that it’s very clean and cool. Unfortunately, what it has gained in style (so to speak), it has lost in functionality.

For instance, you can’t seem to remove the CAPTCHA (word verification) when people leave comments in the new Blogger interface. If you try looking in the Settings > Posts and Comments, there is no longer a section for word verification as there once was. It seems that the only way to make this adjustment is in the “old” Blogger interface. So how does one get around this?

Go to the “Options” icon. It’s looks like a little gear on the right side of the screen. Click on it and find the link to the Old Blogger Interface.

This will take you to the old interface. Click on the Settings and that will take you to Comments menu.

Scroll down, down, down…. even further down… to the options to turn OFF the word verification.

Now, embrace the SPAM!

In its January 2012 issue, Real Simple magazine took an in-depth look into the world of social media, offering stats, tips, and common grievances.

Upon surveying 945 readers about the social-media habits that drive them crazy, they found that the top offenses were: “intentionally vague posts meant to generate concern and attention, a.k.a. vaguebooking”, “chronic complaining”, and “meaningless calls to action”. I would, personally, like to add to that list passive-aggressive, non-committal, blanket statements, @ or tagging abuse, invitations to “events” which are actually websites and not events at all, and, finally, 50 consecutive posts in which you link to yourself.

What are some of your social media pet peeves? 

This week, Real Simple is hitting refresh on civility and instituting “Be Nice on the Internet” week. Follow the Real Simple Facebook page and sign up for their newsletter  to get all of the details, including expert tips on social media matters, answers to why there is so much negativity on the Internet, and other interesting discussions.

{image credit: Real Simple}

The idea for Kidworth came to founder, Rudy DeFelice, at a five-year-old’s birthday party. As he observed the birthday kid opening gift after gift in a frenzy probably not unlike this past Christmas morning at millions of homes, he recalls:

One dad pointed out that the pile represented $600 of plastic that would soon end up in a landfill, and the kid would not remember the gifts or who they were from. Not very satisfying for the kid or the gift giver – or very good for society.

Of course, a mountain of new toys is always fun in theory, but what happens when they break an hour later. Is it really worth it?

As the excitement of the holidays finally winds down and the credit cards bills slowly arrive, it’s a great time to put the holiday madness into perspective. There is a better way of doing thing in 2012. Perhaps it’s even one of your New Year’s Resolutions to focus your finances and energy in a new directions— build you savings, spend more time as a family, or take more vacations.

Have you given any thought as to how you will get there?

Kidworth is an online service that offers an excellent way to teach kids (and parents) about budgeting for the things that really matter.

Parents can register for free and set up an account with their children. (Or in my case, for my children since mine are still too young to grasp the idea of money.) Then, they can share those goals with the people in the kids’ lives.

Here is an example of the portfolio I created for my son, Scout:

Scout is five year old and does not want for much, but I know he will probably want to go to college one day… I hope. So I made a category for “College Savings” in the “Save” goals. This is a huge goal for us. Priority #1 for both of our children’s savings.

My son also enjoys karate, Legos, and burns through art supplies like it’s rocket fuel. So, those are the big items in his “Spend” goals.

The biggest charity I support is his Catholic school. Throughout the year, the school will ask the kids to raise money for the Walk-a-thon or a pig. These are items for the “Share” goals, wherein we set aside funds throughout the year to donate.

Now, when a special occasion like birthdays, holidays, or graduations come around, and someone asks what they should get the kids, I can simply direct them to our Kidworth page through our unique URL. Our personal information stays private. There isn’t even show any info on my children beyond their names and birth date. However, other people will be able to see the things they are “working” towards and contribute to them directly through the site.

There’s also an option to send an e-card to interested parties who would want to give money towards these financial goals. However, I would never do that unsolicited. Only when asked what the kids want, which always happens around birthdays and holidays.

“What do the kids want?” they ask.

“Oh anything,” I sheepishly reply since I find it a tad awkward to demand specific items and price points for other people.  After all. I can’t imagine that it’s that hard to shop for a 5- and 2-year-old! But, bless them, they just want to get the kids exactly what they will really, really love and cherish.

Caught off guard, my mind usually goes blank. Having gone through the process of discussing and setting aside specific goals for my kids, I know exactly what they need!

In Scout’s case, that would be karate classes. For Lou, it is swim lessons. So, this exactly what Mike’s parents got them this year and they really, really love and cherish it!

Disclosure: As a Kidworth Ambassador, I was compensated for sharing how our family saves, spends, and sets goals. If one of your New Year’s Resolutions was to take control of your family’s finance, look into registering for an account with Kidworth? Because it’s never to early or too late to make smarter choices around your budgeting and goals!

Last December, I reflected on the 11 things my life doesn’t need in 2011 as part of #reverb10. Here they are again in no particular order: Wishing for my old life back, Perfection, Energy Sucks, “Yes”, Fear, Worry, Stuff, Other People’s Issues, Wishing instead of Doing, Bulk, and Hurry.

How did I do?

Fear and Worry are a given when you’re a parent… and a human being. It’s what drives and motivates us. They are inescapable, but I did make an effort in 2011 to not let them rule my life entirely. Mostly, it had to do with not reacting, but instead, thinking through what is and is not a valuable outcome.

Perfection, Energy Sucks, and Other People’s Issues were easy to ditch in 2011. I just didn’t have the time! I was too busy doing (instead of wishing) and attempting to move my own life forward.

I still have an issue with saying “Yes” to too many things, but the difference was that the “yes” was more often something for us—volunteering at the kids’ schools,  putting in more effort at my moms’ group, finding interesting projects, etc. I’ve discovered that “yes” to things that enrich our lives is a thousand times more satisfying than a “yes” to win someone’s love and approval.

I will always wish for my old life back, but not in the same sense. There are a lot of things that I miss from when I used to be some place I thought I would be forever and ever– a sense of community, a sense of belonging. In many ways, we have found those things here. In other ways, we have not.

I found myself less attached to Stuff, as evidenced by my massive end-of-year clean out of the garage and closets. All of the girl clothes went to my best friend’s infant daughter. All of the boy clothes went to my cousin’s two sons. The rest were dropped off at Goodwill. I also made an effort to purchase less in 2011, and instead spend more on experiences with the kids—activities, day trips, museum passes.

Excessive Bulk and Hurry are things I am (unfortunately) carrying with me into 2012. I just have to keep working at it.

It was more difficult to come up with a list of “12 things my life doesn’t need in 2012″, since the very first things I could think of are squarely NOT within my control. For instance, “surprises” (not the fun kind)…  2011 was going well enough until the very, very end. Then *smack*… SURPRISE!

On that note, I would also love do away with uncertainty, instability, and frustration.  Don’t we all.

So rather than coming up with 12 things I don’t need in 2012, I decided to focus on 12 things I want to accomplish in 2012. Here they are in no particular order:

1. Complete my blog redesign. Yes, the same blog redesign that I teased you with months ago. The project was put on hold because I got busy and overwhelmed. I hoped to have it ready before 2012… Now, I hope to have it done by the end of the month.

2. Take a photography class. Per my Tech Resolutions in 2012… It’s either this or improve my Photoshop skills.

3. Set limits on my work. 2011 was the year of the 24/7 work week. Yet, I ended the year feeling as if I had accomplished NOTHING and let everyone down. How does that work? Well, I was constantly chasing after projects and to-do lists, then staying up until the breaking point to complete them. I was so crazy exhausted that I never did anything very well.

One of my goals in 2012 is to set aside dedicated work hours and dedicated non-work hours. There will be days when my computer stays shut and my phone will be used as…a phone. I owe it to my family. I owe it to myself.

4. Focus on a single meaningful project.  Drop the things that have been holding me back. Do the things that move me forward.

5. Exercise regularly. If only for the alone time…

6. Reading for pleasure. Writing for fun. 

7. Create family rituals. Friday movie night. Saturday bike ride. Sunday dinner. Whatever it is, I want there to be one thing that our family does together once a week.

8. Take the time to be a good wife. Seven years doesn’t seem like very long time to be married, especially since our parents’ marriages are going strong at 30+ and 40+ years. Yet, the past few years of my marriage have been tough for a variety of reasons. Yet, there have been glimmers and moments when I remember why I fell in love with Mike in the first place.  Actually, there are glimmers and moment every single day. I’ve just been too busy to notice… In 2012, I want more glimmers and moments.

9. Reclaim my faith. As much as the past few years have been a strain on my marriage, it has been doubly so for my faith.

10. Post my work goals in plain sight. It feels like cheating to list “making goals” as a goal, but taking the time to think through and really imagine what I want to accomplish professionally. What are these sleepless nights, deadlines, and endless hours all about? This is huge.

11. Start a Gratitude Project. I started one at the beginning of 2011, but let it fall by the way side.

12. Remember to smile and savor the moment.

What are the 12 things your life needs more of in 2012? How will you go about getting them? How will getting these things change your life?