As usual, we got completely off topic at book club the other night and ended up discussing parenting. Not a total surprise as this is a book club associated with the local moms’ group I just joined (but more on that later…)
Someone brought up the Duggar Family and I brought up liking their show on TLC, “18 Kids and Counting”.
There. I said it. I like watching the Duggar family.
Okay so they have a crazy number of kids, but they also seem like a genuinely happy and faith-filled family. The parents have done a great job instilling their kids with a strong set of values, and they “practice what they preach”… so to speak. (You can read their “house guidelines” here).
As a practicing Catholic raising my children within a similar set of morals and beliefs, I happen to admire this about them. I only hope my kids turn out as well-mannered, respectful, and kind as theirs seem to be.
And sometimes it’s just nice to see watch something lighthearted and fluffy at the end of the day…
Well, one of the other moms could not have disagreed with me more, stating that she’s interested in the Duggars’ parenting book, but finds their religious fervor “creepy”…
“Did you know that they don’t let their kids to watch TV and control what they see on the Internet?” she asked.
(Well, YEAH. It’s only mentioned in the intro of every single episode!)
“Well, you know they’re not doing a very good job of preparing their kids for the ‘real world’…blah, blah, blah...” she continued to chastise until I pointed out that, except for the 18 kids, the Duggars don’t seem all that different from the most of the parents I’ve met so far in California…
Ahem, ahem. YOU!
… and yes, this is the same crowd of “what’s Nickelodeon?” fame.
In the very short time I’ve known these ladies, we’ve discussed all manner of parental ills from feeding kids artificial ingredients to lavishing excessive praise, and especially excessive (meaning “any”) TV watching…
In general, they seem to have come to the exact same conclusions about parenting the Duggars have, citing all the “typical” reasons…
“Yuck! Only BAD mommies let their kids watch Dora and eat frozen chicken nuggets…”
“The school system is so… LACKING…”
“English is not to be spoken in our home. We want to hold on to our heritage and traditions…”
Yet, once these same limits are attributed to religion beliefs, it gets called “creepy”. So tell me, Readers, what is it about FAITH that oogs people out?
No judgment. I just want to hear your thoughts.
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I don’t think it’s the faith that oogs (?) people out. It’s the practitioners of faith who insist that their way is the way and must be followed by all at all costs. This extends to fundamentalists (which the Duggers are) of any religion–be it Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. And it is the proselytizing that offends (oogs?) me. I enjoy Jon and Kate who have similar Christian sensibilities but don’t shove them down my throat every program. They are just part of how they live, rather than their identity. I also question the sensibilities of the producers of the Duggers. It’s the same production company, I think, as Jon and Kate so I find the difference in focus quite interesting. The shows are edited to have a narrative arc and in a recent Dugger show, I think the producers revealed something about their own intentions. The Duggers were in San Francisco seeing the sights at Fisherman’s Wharf. The producers had them go to two shops. The first was a head shop (oh, look at all that cute paraphernalia for smoking dope!) which they were totally bewildered by. The second was a snack shop and throughout the entire scene, the Duggers were standing in front of a very readable “No on Prop 8” (the anti-gay marriage proposition) poster. Someone on the production team was having a lot of fun that day.
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I don’t, personally, find faith “creepy” at all. Although I am not religious myself, I appreciate the purpose of religion, and am happy that most people find comfort in their faith. I, too, enjoy watching “18 Kids and Counting,” and while I disagree with many of their beliefs, I can tell they are raising kind, responsible, thoughtful kids. It is my experience that what most people are “ooged-out” by is not their faith but their EXTREME lifestyle. You must admit that 18 home-schooled kids is out-of-the-ordinary in our culture. People tend to be fascinated by this. It is true that we all agree that organic is good, but wouldn’t we be equally interested in a family that grew all their own organic food, raised their own free-range chickens, and never bought anything at the supermarket? There is a difference between an average Christian family and the Duggars (note the spelling? It is DUGGAR). It takes all kinds, right?
I agree with Jane in that, for me, it’s not faith, but the ‘you’re going to hell if you don’t agree with me’ attitude. I’m equally bothered by people like Bill Maher who can’t seem to let it go and let people believe what they want without labeling them freaks and idiots.
I’ve only seen snippets of the Duggers TV show. They seem genuinely nice, but it is the idea of having that many children, being perpetually pregnant for nearly 18 years, that is ‘creepy’ to me, not their faith.
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Tara, we’ve only really been in control of suppressing reproduction for a century or thereabouts; in previous centuries the average woman of child-bearing age WAS either pregnant or lactating, it’s just that the infant and child mortality rates were so high that it would be unusual to have 18 kids floating around the house. Although my great grandmother had 14 live to adulthood…
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This is a great question, Grace. I think the bottom line is that people like the Duggars, who have a firm religious beliefs and guidelines, “oog” other people out because the other people don’t like the rules and guidelines and see them as exclusive or not in keeping with their social agenda. I also think that we as a society (speaking as a practicing Catholic-far from perfectly practicing though) do not think we can or have to follow all the rules of our religion, and those people that practice what they preach makes us feel bad that we are not making the difficult choices…and that guilt makes people uncomfortable so they just write it off as “creeping them out.”
And people not watching television–that creeps me out.
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I don’t get the fear, either. Maybe it’s the fear of upsetting somebody of different faith, but instead they upset people with faith!
Maybe a book club from your church is more in order!
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Pretty much, people are afraid of what they don’t know, and choosing to deny God, they hide behind their harsh and violent opinions on what godly families are in their minds are doing wrong. People that don’t have Christ are raising their kids in the flesh, and NOT with the power and principles of God, anything God will almost immediately cause people to set their face against you. That’s why we live in such a hostile America, the God-fearing men and women of this country NEED to take a stand for Righteousness and Justice!