Last December, I reflected on the 11 things my life doesn’t need in 2011 as part of #reverb10. Here they are again in no particular order: Wishing for my old life back, Perfection, Energy Sucks, “Yes”, Fear, Worry, Stuff, Other People’s Issues, Wishing instead of Doing, Bulk, and Hurry.
How did I do?
Fear and Worry are a given when you’re a parent… and a human being. It’s what drives and motivates us. They are inescapable, but I did make an effort in 2011 to not let them rule my life entirely. Mostly, it had to do with not reacting, but instead, thinking through what is and is not a valuable outcome.
Perfection, Energy Sucks, and Other People’s Issues were easy to ditch in 2011. I just didn’t have the time! I was too busy doing (instead of wishing) and attempting to move my own life forward.
I still have an issue with saying “Yes” to too many things, but the difference was that the “yes” was more often something for us—volunteering at the kids’ schools, putting in more effort at my moms’ group, finding interesting projects, etc. I’ve discovered that “yes” to things that enrich our lives is a thousand times more satisfying than a “yes” to win someone’s love and approval.
I will always wish for my old life back, but not in the same sense. There are a lot of things that I miss from when I used to be some place I thought I would be forever and ever– a sense of community, a sense of belonging. In many ways, we have found those things here. In other ways, we have not.
I found myself less attached to Stuff, as evidenced by my massive end-of-year clean out of the garage and closets. All of the girl clothes went to my best friend’s infant daughter. All of the boy clothes went to my cousin’s two sons. The rest were dropped off at Goodwill. I also made an effort to purchase less in 2011, and instead spend more on experiences with the kids—activities, day trips, museum passes.
Excessive Bulk and Hurry are things I am (unfortunately) carrying with me into 2012. I just have to keep working at it.
It was more difficult to come up with a list of “12 things my life doesn’t need in 2012”, since the very first things I could think of are squarely NOT within my control. For instance, “surprises” (not the fun kind)… 2011 was going well enough until the very, very end. Then *smack*… SURPRISE!
On that note, I would also love do away with uncertainty, instability, and frustration. Don’t we all.
So rather than coming up with 12 things I don’t need in 2012, I decided to focus on 12 things I want to accomplish in 2012. Here they are in no particular order:
1. Complete my blog redesign. Yes, the same blog redesign that I teased you with months ago. The project was put on hold because I got busy and overwhelmed. I hoped to have it ready before 2012… Now, I hope to have it done by the end of the month.
2. Take a photography class. Per my Tech Resolutions in 2012… It’s either this or improve my Photoshop skills.
3. Set limits on my work. 2011 was the year of the 24/7 work week. Yet, I ended the year feeling as if I had accomplished NOTHING and let everyone down. How does that work? Well, I was constantly chasing after projects and to-do lists, then staying up until the breaking point to complete them. I was so crazy exhausted that I never did anything very well.
One of my goals in 2012 is to set aside dedicated work hours and dedicated non-work hours. There will be days when my computer stays shut and my phone will be used as…a phone. I owe it to my family. I owe it to myself.
4. Focus on a single meaningful project. Drop the things that have been holding me back. Do the things that move me forward.
5. Exercise regularly. If only for the alone time…
6. Reading for pleasure. Writing for fun.
7. Create family rituals. Friday movie night. Saturday bike ride. Sunday dinner. Whatever it is, I want there to be one thing that our family does together once a week.
8. Take the time to be a good wife. Seven years doesn’t seem like very long time to be married, especially since our parents’ marriages are going strong at 30+ and 40+ years. Yet, the past few years of my marriage have been tough for a variety of reasons. Yet, there have been glimmers and moments when I remember why I fell in love with Mike in the first place. Actually, there are glimmers and moment every single day. I’ve just been too busy to notice… In 2012, I want more glimmers and moments.
9. Reclaim my faith. As much as the past few years have been a strain on my marriage, it has been doubly so for my faith.
10. Post my work goals in plain sight. It feels like cheating to list “making goals” as a goal, but taking the time to think through and really imagine what I want to accomplish professionally. What are these sleepless nights, deadlines, and endless hours all about? This is huge.
11. Start a Gratitude Project. I started one at the beginning of 2011, but let it fall by the way side.
12. Remember to smile and savor the moment.
What are the 12 things your life needs more of in 2012? How will you go about getting them? How will getting these things change your life?
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Sounds like 2012 is going to be a fabulous year!
{Love that last one! I strive for it, too!}