I didn’t have anything planned this Mother’s Day weekend.

Correction: my family didn’t have anything planned for this Mother’s Day weekend.

My kids are too young to know Mother’s Day from Tuesday and Mr.D… and I say this without any guilt or recrimination… isn’t one for gifts or grand gestures.

He buys cards… occasionally… but never gets around to actually signing and/or giving them to me. I  find them months later, either tucked between the pages of his programming books or buried beneath a stack of  bank statements, as I pack the house for yet another move.

I find these random surprises adorable, which probably explains why we’re perfect for one another.

So, I had zero plans (or expectations) for this weekend until my friend and fellow blogger… and yes, I can call her my friend because I’ve actually broken my “no touching” rule to throw myself on her hug her… invited our family and others to her home on Saturday night for a Backyard Movie Night to End Childhood Hunger.

(By the way, this is truly a great cause. You can find out how you too can help END childhood hunger on Jessica’s blog or here or even here… )

Then, a few days ago, Mr. D forwarded an invitation from work to me. Apparently, he and I going to a movie premier party… NEXT WEEKEND (!!)

I swear, BOYS!

A few other commitments popped up and like that my Mother’s Day weekend went from lazy to crazy.

Trying to split our time, I decided to just take Scout to the movie night, leaving Mr. D at home to put Lou to bed and  take care of other things around the house. When I explained this to Scout, he told me he didn’t want to go to the party without his baby sister… and my heart  just melted.

Scout ADORES his little sister. He sings to her, cheers for her, and reads to her. He’s the first on the scene to pick her up when she topples over and say, “Aw, nice try”. And in exchange, Lou idolizes him. Nay, WORSHIPS him. She lights up the minute he walks into the room, laughs at all of his jokes and funny faces, and happily accepts his sometimes brutal hugs and kisses. Riding side by side in the car, they’ll exchange honking noises, then giggle like idiots at their “inside joke”.

Spare me your  “oh, you just waits…” I have two younger sisters of my own, so  I know all too well that this perfect little bubble of sibling harmony can pop at any moment. Please, just let me keep hoping that it never will.

The best Mother’s day gift my children will ever give me is to continue to love and adore one another as much as they do at this very moment.

Scout learned the words “surprise” and “camouflage” on the same day. That happens with back to back Sesame Streets…

He knows the difference… I think, but it’s not unusual to hear giggling from inside a cabinet or closet only to have him jump out and yell:

“CAMOUFLAGE!”

I should probably correct him, but what would be the comedic value in that?

Confession. Every third day, I  think about going back to work. Seriously.

Each time, my reason is completely different. Some days it’s because I caught a glimpse of the person  I once was. Take charge. Ambitious. Creative. Smart. I miss that girl. She was cool. I wonder what happened to her.

Other days, my intentions are less noble. Months and months ago, while potty training my son and cleaning up yet another puddle on the floor, it would occur to me, “If I were at work right now, this would be someone else’s problem. Not mine!”.

Most of the time, it happens because, simply put, I am worn down…from LIFE.  And as we all know, a body that is worn down is more susceptible to catching things….

Things like myopia and  “grass-is-greener”-itis.

Then, the phone rings or I remember that we’re supposed to be somewhere, and I get back in the game. My “ambivalence” is set aside for another day.  I go on doing what has to get done, because that’s what moms do.

It takes a book like Just Let Me Lie Down to remind me that the grass is NOT greener.  I remember that I left my job for some very valid reasons– two to be exact…

These feelings, while oftentimes overwhelming and isolating, are not unique to me. They’re unique to motherhood. As moms, we all face the same challenges, guilt, and sense of obligation. Financial issues aside, we all have choices to make. However, the supreme choice is whether or not to be happy.

So last week, when a opportunity presented itself, I jumped on it. A leap of faith, if you will.  It’s a role that’s completely in line with what I used to do, but would still allow me to be home with my kids.  So after tucking my kids into their beds, I held my breath and applied. A few days later, I was asked to submit a resume.

As part of my megalomania personal growth, I update my resume each year. Although with moving and baby and moving again, I’ve been a little behind on it this year… and last, but at least I knew where to find it on my computer.

When I attempted to open the Word doc, an error message popped up saying the “file is corrupt”. I tried  several  more times, but it was no use. It was clear that my resume, containing all of my accomplishments and  achievements, could not be salvaged.

There’s an analogy in there that I would rather not dwell upon.

Disclosure: I received a copy of Just let Me Lie Down, Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom by Kristin van Ogtrop to read and discuss as a contributor for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog. The thoughts and opinions expressed above are my own.

Kristin van Ogtrop is the editor of Real Simple magazine and writes a blog of her own called Adventures In Chaos. Her book is a fantastic read for any self-described half-insane mother. (That would be every mother, right?) You can purchase your own copy from any of these fine retailers.

To read other posts inspired this book, please click here.

Last week, Jillian Michaels of “Biggest Loser” fame made a disparaging comment about pregnancy and the “momosphere” BLEW UP over it…

From what I could tell, the high drama was mostly driven by a headline which read: “Jillian Micheals Won’t ‘Ruin’ Body with Pregnancy”

She didn’t actually use the word ‘ruin’, by the way. That’s just how her actual quote was paraphrased. Even then, I  didn’t understand the outrage. So, I wrote a post about it for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog today.

For all of her narcissism and phony diet pills hard work and discipline, at the end of the day, Jillian Michaels is nothing more to me than a TV personality. She can have her  little thoughts and opinions and I can decide whether or not to listen.

I didn’t buy a Bumbpit and paint myself orange to be like Snooki. I didn’t run out and empty the grocery shelves of cranberry juice the second Dr. Oz told me it would rid my teeth of plaque. My toothpaste does the exact same thing without tasting gross.

The only one who can tell me how to live my life is Oprah, So there! Ha!

I’d love to hear your opinion on the matter, so click over to my post and leave a comment!

I’ve been cleaning blood off of sheets, walls, and chairs lately because a certain somebody can’t seem to keep his fingers out of his nose…

Ahem!

I’ve tried everything to get him to stop… bribes, threats, and begging. I’ve scattered tissue boxes throughout our home.  Put oven mitts on his hands. Nothing seems to work and the residual laundry is making me kinda crazy.

Still… this is not nearly HALF as bad as the little girl we met at a bookstore who couldn’t seem to keep her fingers out of her BUTT!

She would focus on something and her hand would casually wander into the back of her pants…

Her parents seemed to have a remarkably laid back attitude about the whole thing considering this was happening out in PUBLIC… for all the world to SEE…

“Eh whatcha gonna do? She’s a kid.”

Whatcha gonna do?! How about you CONTROL your child and teach her how gross… and disgusting and…

Then I remembered… sheets, wall, chairs? Yeah, I have no room to judge.

However, we did stop shopping in the children’s section of a certain bookstore, name withheld.