Letter to My 20-Something Self

Cassie Boorn put out the request and Jessica Gottlieb, Maggie, and Sarah responded. Turns out I had a few things to say to 20-something me, too.

After all, now that I’ve been 29-for-the-second-time for all of FIVE days, I feel as if I now have the proper authority to lecture younger me. So here goes:

Hey Doll,

You’re gorgeous. I know that’s hard for you to believe since you’re not used to hearing it, but occasionally people will tell you that. You owe it to yourself to believe them.

That boy you’re with on your 20th birthday. He’s a great guy, but he’s not the one. Stop trying so hard to make it “work”. Just enjoy it. You’re having fun and that’s all it’s needs to be.

Then, when it’s over. Let it be over. Toss that Dashboard Confessional CD and  go out with that waiter/trust-fund baby… or that co-worker… or that history professor (not yours, of course. The one you meet after you graduate. He is cute, no?) But not the pilot. He’s married.

When the time is right, you’ll find the love of your life. Actually he’ll find you, so relax.

The two of you will make gorgeous children and they will be just as you feared. Smart like him and relentless like you. You will want to sell them to gypsies were they not also kind and generous like him and thoughtful and witty like you.

Don’t worry so much about disappointing your parents.  You already have and that’s okay. You weren’t meant to be a doctor and you didn’t fall in love with one. Just accept it and they will too. It’s YOUR life. Go live it.

Let the fact that your favorite thing about your major is writing the thesis (and that you seriously offered to write your roommate’s thesis, too) be a clue that your passion just may be writing. So, pursue that career in advertising. You’re going to love it and will be good at it too, but be fearless and  follow your passion as well. Write… and start that blog! Not later. Now.

And while we’re on the topic, be honest with yourself and don’t be afraid to look stupid. You ARE stupid, but you’re here to learn. Pay attention. Ask questions. Laugh at your mistakes.

You don’t need the bigger house. In fact, you’ve been happiest in the smaller house and sharing the one car. You also like spending your days at home with your kids. So when your friends brag about the stuff they bought and the thing they just renovated, go ahead and feel smug in knowing something that they don’t

You hate beer and like scotch and pinotage. So put down that Miller Lite. You’re getting no joy from it and it’s making me gag to watch you try to drink it.

Get plenty of sleep. Your biggest faux pas will be directly related to being tired. Also, you’re setting a bad example to your future children, who will follow in your night owl tendencies. This will not bode well for you.

And Lord Almighty, do NOT let your mom convince you to include the line “Formal Attire Requested” on your wedding invitations. It will seem like no big deal at the time, just a tiny concession in the battle known as “planning your monster wedding”.

That line with cause more grief and vexation then you can ever imagine. It will only confuse and upset your in-laws and their friends, and lead to the complete unraveling of your father’s entire side of the family.

Your dear cousin, Patricia, will tell you it’s not your fault. All of that bitterness, resentment, jealousy, and anger was there all along, but, secretly, you will know it is your fault. None if it would have ever happened if you just had left your mom at home the day you picked out invitations.

On second thought, you really should just have a destination wedding like your best friend, Beth. Now that was awesome!

Also, Mike is planning a surprise party for your 23rd birthday. So stop listening to your mom freak out about flower arrangements or seating charts, dry those tears, and just let the man take you to dinner. Thirty of your dearest and closest friends are getting tired of waiting for you to arrive.

So sorry to ruin the surprise, but you really should know you’re being a party pooper.

love,

Older, wiser you.

P.S. I’ll be back in 10 years to chastise present you.

Do you have something to say to your 20-something self? Email it to cassieboorn {at} gmail {dot} com and she’ll post it on her blog. Fabulous idea, by that way!

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