Happy Mother’s Day. You can MAKE people and successfully lead them to adulthood… but, by the way, you are all still inadequate unless you can breastfeed your preschooler (and look HAWT while doing it). Whoop-whoop. Don’t forget to patronize our advertisers. Kthaxbai. 

First of all, I would like to take a step back and applaud fellow blogger, Jamie Lynne Grumet of I Am Not The Babysitter for being so open with her choices and… um, Hello! for being on the cover of TIME MAGAZINE. Woot! But that title still makes me want to wretch.

I take absolutely no issue with Jamie Lynne, her choices, or attachment parenting. From what I understand, it’s quite a lovely article, but I wouldn’t know since I haven’t read Time Magazine since the 1980s when it was the only thing my parents subscribed to. I do however openly take issue with the follow things:

The Blatantly Cheap Title Meant to Incite… What? Another Fake Mommy War? Confusion about what the article is really about? 

Puh-lease! Mothers are smarter than this.

The cover story is about Attachment Parenting and the man who popularized it, Dr. William Sears. If you are interested in learning more about this topic, DON’T read Time Magazine. Read Dr. Sears’ book, The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two.

I have a well-worn, much-loved copy of it in my donate stack. I can even send it to you. Just ask.

The “Come Judge Me, Why Don’t You” Grimace Has Zero to do with Breastfeeding

My other problem is the composition of this photo– the stone-cold resistant look on the faces of mother and son, the aggressive pose, the foot stool…

It all becomes more apparent when you see the Behind the Cover images as provided by Time. There were other mom-child photos considered– softer, comforting, more natural, genuine images of a tender and beautiful bond.

Everything nursing presumes to be. And, yet the publisher chose the one above. Let’s stop to ask why.

I didn’t nurse either of my children for very long, but I enjoyed it while it lasted. I improved with experience, meaning I was better at it with my second child than with my first. New challenges aside.

Public nursing with a toddler in tow required that I take a variety of position. I nursed while standing in the middle of park, seated at the edge of play space at the mall, and even while getting a dental check up. I never once assumed an “I just dare you to judge me” look. Not once.

The only Mother Superiors I’ve Ever Known Were Nuns

A woman’s ability and/or willingness to breastfeed is completely separate from her quality as a mother. Can we please take that out of the equation once and for all?

The cover model actually wrote a brillant post for BlogHer on the 10 Things Breastfeeding Advocates Need To Stop Saying. 

The Internet is Forever

Jamie Lynne’s son is almost four and I would hazard to guess, approximately my height.  He looks more like a prop in this photo and surely he had no say whatsoever in it’s placement, composition, or messaging.  Perhaps the mom did not either.

That’s fine for now, but it won’t be long before he and his friends are on the Internet. A few Google searches for his name and this image will surely be the first to come up. I can only image the mocking and public ridicule to follow.

For as much noise as this photo sought to generate, it isn’t going anywhere. I’ve seen it 15 separate times this morning alone never having left my Facebook page. It’s already prompted hundreds of blog posts, Facebook updates, Tweets, memes, etc. It will not be forgotten anytime soon.

It’s not like he’s the Nirvana baby. There will never be anything cool about this photo in 10 years. He is the bored preschooler who appeared suckling his mom’s boob on a national magazine. The question that will always loom after is, “How messed up did that make him?”

He is now the poster child for whatever society decides to blame or attribute on attachment parenting in decades to come. “Look at this kid, he was nursed until he was the size of adult woman and he turned out… “ 

]]> http://formerlygracie.com/2012/05/mom-controversy-du-jour-are-you-mom-enough/feed/ 3 http://formerlygracie.com/2012/05/tired-of-being-the-strong-one/ http://formerlygracie.com/2012/05/tired-of-being-the-strong-one/#comments Thu, 03 May 2012 15:00:36 +0000 Grace {Formerly Gracie} http://formerlygracie.com/?p=5875 Pity. We had such high hopes for 2012. My family had everything—a decent home, dream jobs, health and happy kids. After three years of struggling to find our place, we could finally say, “Yes, we are settled here. This is where we belong.”

Then with one swift kick in the pants followed by twenty more, everything we worked so hard to build slipped out of our control.

It would have been so easy to just pack it up and quit. To save myself, but I am not a me. I am a we. There is more than just my feelings to consider here. (My dreams and ambitions were long ago trampled and set aside.)

It became apparent early on that I would have to be strong enough for four people.

I wake up every single morning prepared for battle. I fight for my kids. I fight for my business. I fight for my marriage. I fight for my home. I fight for self-worth. I am the one carrying this family forward with everyone else kicking and screaming.

But I am tired. I am oh, so tired of it…. and clearly, it’s not enough.

And the winners were…

For a Samsung Rugby Smart phone from AT&T, it was Stacey Nerdin (@StaceyNerdin) from Tree, Root, and Twig.

By the way, my Wonder Tech Twin, Leticia Barr is giving away a Samsung Rugby Smart too. Enter to win it by sharing your cell phone horror story her site, Tech Savvy Mama, by May 15th.

For the $100 eBay Gift Card just in time for Mother’s Day, the winner was… Carmen Nuland (@cmouse01). A girl after my own heart, she plans to spend it on something techy.

A special thank you to all who entered this particular giveaway. We are so pleased to have eBay as a Splash Creative Media client and there are actually two more chances to win a $100 eBay Gift Card at Julieverse at Just Precious and The Centsible Life … but hurry! Their drawing are ending soon.

**************

UPDATE: The winner for the $100 eBay gift card was contacted via Twitter twice and did not respond… So sad!

Congrats, @cmouse01 you won the $100 @ebay GC on my site DM me your name, address and phone number when you get a sec. #eBayMom

— graceduffy (@graceduffy) May 2, 2012

@cmouse01 Hey, you won my $100 @ebay gift card. Woot! DM me by tonight with your info. Otherwise, i’ll have to pick another winner :-/

— graceduffy (@graceduffy) May 2, 2012

@cmouse01 Since it’s past the deadline, I have to pull another winner for this giveaway bit.ly/IDNyzx Sorry :-/

— graceduffy (@graceduffy) May 3, 2012

I don’t like it when this happens, but it’s past the deadline and she was given well over 24 hours to respond. Per the rules outlined within my giveaway post, I am drawing another winner using Random.org.

This means the winner is….

 Congratulations, Lolli Franklin (@1momof5) of Better in Bulk. I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day!!!

Okay, I guess it’s only funny if you have ever been the unsuspecting “victim” of this particular charade… In that case, you know better than to just let the day pass quietly. I, on the other hand, would love nothing more than a quiet day to myself. NO FUSS needed. I am serious!

Weeeell... maybe a little fuss would be nice. A nice brunch out? Flowers? A few more iTunes credits for some books I’ve been sampling? Something sparkly?

For those of you in need of a little shopping inspiration this Mother’s Day, eBay is offering lots of help for the social media savvy via  Facebook , Twitter, and even Pinterest!

Need more help? Visit their eBay’s Mother’s Day Gift Guides.

Did you know that 70% of the items found on eBay are new? With all that the site has to offer everyone is sure to find the most memorable gift of all.

The Giveaway

Splash Creative Media and eBay would like to help you celebrate the mom and/or “like a mom” in YOUR life– whether it be yours, his, or somebody else’s– with a $100 eBay Gift Card.

(It could even be a little treat just for you. Go ahead and spoil yourself. We won’t tell…)

To ENTER…

Visit eBay’s Mother’s Day page and share which item  listed on their page you would put your $100 towards in the comments

Then… RSVP to our Mother’s Day Twitter Party on May 1, 3-5 pm EST/12-2pm PST here:

Additional Ways to Enter

Enter the  ”Pin it for a chance to WIN IT!” eBay Memorable Moments Mother’s Day Pinterest Sweepstakes and leave a link to your board in the comments below.

Tweet about our Mother’s Day Twitter Party daily and leave a comment when you do.

Join @eBay + @Splash_Creative for a Mother’s Day Twitter chat on 5/1 12-2p PT! RSVP to win great #eBayMom prizes: http://bit.ly/JbeAZa 

Follow @graceduffy, @eBay, and  @Splash_Creative on Twitter.

Watch this adorable eBay Mother’s Day video on YouTube and give it some “likes” and “shares”

Visit my colleagues at Splash Creative Media. Each of them are also giving away $100 eBay gift cards on their blogs. So, watch for their giveaways as well. That’s four more chances to win!

Just Precious 
It’s My Life
Tech Savvy Mama
The Centsible Life

Deadline

Giveaway ends Tuesday, May 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm PST.

Don’t forget: Mother’s Day is May 13th!

The Giveaway

One lucky winner will win their very own AT&T Samsung Rugby® Smart phone (retail value $449.99) to put to the test.

To ENTER…

Leave a comment below about your own cell phone horror story.

Have your kids ever tried flushing your last phone down the toilet? Or maybe they decided to give it a bath… in the tub… because they thought it was dirty?

Have you ever driven over your phone with your car? Or did just the thought of leaving it in the car make you shudder? (Yeah, been there!)

Deadline

Drawing held at 11:59 pm PST, on Sunday, April 29th, 2012. Please see fine print below for more rules.

Additional Entries

For extra entries, you must complete the above comment and do any or all of the following, Leave a comment for each one.

Tweet this daily and leave the link in the comments:

@graceduffy is giving away a Samsung Rugby Smart phone. Enter to win: http://bit.ly/Jz6E8e

Like my video on YouTube: http://youtu.be/RIOygzskVWk (Please!!! It’s my very first vlog!)

Read my review of the Samsung Rugby® Smart phone and tell me which of the phone’s many feature you think will be most useful to your family’s lifestyle. You can leave a comment on either post or both. This one counts as two entries.

Subscribe to Formerly Gracie via RSS Feed.

Follow @graceduffy, @ATT, and @SamsungMobile on Twitter.

Disclaimer: This post and giveaway was sponsored by AT&T. I was compensated for the video, however the thoughts and opinions expressed above are my own and do not reflect those of Samsung Mobile, or Fleishman-Hillard . I was asked to share my cell phone horror story and offer a giveaway to promote the new Samsung Rugby® Smart phone 

Fine print: One winner will be randomly selected by Random.org on Sunday, April 29, 2012 at 11:59 pm PST and contacted via email or Twitter.  Winner must provide name and US mailing address for direct shipment of products within 24 hours of being contacted or an alternate winner will be selected.  If winner comment does not meet the aforementioned criteria by containing the necessary contact information, another winner will be selected. Prizes will be shipped directly from Fleishman-Hillard.  

Grace Duffy and FormerlyGracie.com are not responsible for items lost or delayed in shipping.

Opening day for my son’s very first year of tee ball could not have been more cold and dreary. It had rained all night and it was threatening to rain all day. The actual game and parades had already been cancelled, but we still had to show up for the team photos.

Every Little League team in our city was required to show up in the same park that day. I found ours huddled under a tree, which was as close as they could get to the shelter of the  lone covered awning where the photographer was stationed.

Go Cardinals!

As we waited our turn, the parents and coaches for our team created a barrier around the boys and I could tell exactly what every single one of them was thinking at that moment.

“Stay out of the mud. Don’t go anywhere. Stand still. Keep those stupid white pants clean! Who thought it was a good idea for little boys to wear white anyway!?”

Out came the smartphones with their cracked screens, scuffed cases, and dinged corners. It was pretty easy to figure out what had happened to them… Kids!

Enough parents happily acquiesce their devices to their young children in order to keep them amused and out of trouble that there’s a name for it– the “Pass-back Effect“. As in, you pass your shiny, new devices over to your young kids. Unfortunately, the devices are seldom returned to the parents in the same pristine condition…

On this particular day, the boys were nicely taking turns with Angry Birds and Fruit Ninja on their parents’ phones. So I reached into my handbag to add my smartphone to the mix—the one I was given to review by putting it through the “kid ringer” (so to speak…)

An assistant coach caught a glimpse of the shiny screen with nary a fingerprint, much less a scratch, and the smooth case and warned his own son, “That’s a new phone… Don’t touch it!”

I laughed and told the boys, “Oh no. I want you to play with this phone. Do your worst, kids!” Then, I showed them the Doodle Biker app. It’s the one where you have to tilt your phone to the left and to the right in order to race your way through the levels… possibly dropping it in a puddle in the process. Oops!

Samsung’s new Rugby® Smart phone wasn’t in our home a day before it was dubbed the “Indestructible Phone”.

Designed to be dust-proof, water-proof, weather-proof, and even “drop-proof” (up to 6.6 feet), my family was eager to take this military-grade device to the limit!

“Can we run the car over it? Can we put it in the dryer? Can we throw it in our pond?” my son wanted to know.

“No. No. No.” my husband said, secretly coveting the new device.

“But I am supposed to test the phone, Mike!” I insisted.

Well,  I can’t think of a better test for an “Indestructible Phone” than handing it to a team of antsy 4-, 5-, and 6-year-old boys standing within spitting distance of a mud puddle… Even then, I knew the phone would do a good job surviving the day. I could not say the same for their white baseball pants.

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The Specs:

The Samsung Rugby® Smart (SGH-I847) is designed to go up against almost anything– extreme temperatures, rain, dust, sand, high humidity, solar radiation, salt, fog, and thermal shock. The rubber seals over the ports help to keep out dirt and moisture and a screw lock on the battery cover provides added protection for the internal components. The plastic case keeps the phone thin and lightweight, but still protects it from the elements and drops up to 6.6 feet.

The display is a 3.7-inch Super AMOLED™ touch screen with a layer of scratch resistant Corning Gorilla Glass as added protection against bumps, scratches, and drops. With a resolution of 480×800 pixels,  I was impressed with how brilliant the images appear on the screen. Colors are crisp and video graphics were bright and smooth.

The phone runs on Android™ 2.3 Gingerbread,  which is a popular operating system because of its streamlined interface, simple navigation, and easy-to-use features like copy-and-paste, battery life monitoring, and built-in task manager. Paired with AT&T’s 4g network, this phone runs with amazing speed and efficiency!

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A Final Endorsement

And just in case you need a more winning endorsement… this is the first smartphone that I’ve brought into this home that finally… FINALLY… convinced my economical husband that he NEEDS a smartphone. (New Year’s Tech Resolution #4, check!)

Until we moved to Silicon Valley, I never had to leave my child with anyone other than family and/or  ”nearly family”. With my mom, dad, sisters, brother-in-law, and tons of long-time friends within driving distance, there was never any need to hire a “stranger” or a teenager to babysit for us.

If something came up at the last minute, my dad would giddily rearrange his entire day  to come over. If there was a party, my son was more than welcome to spend the night… if not the entire weekend… at my parents’ house. Even then, they always begged to keep him a little while longer. “Go out to dinner. Do your  thing. He’s so happy here! There’s no need to rush back!” they would say.

I never knew how good I had it until I moved 1,671 miles away! (Yes, I have counted.)

Finding a good sitter and learning to trust them is one thing. (That’s a whole other post in and of itself.) Finding someone who will drop everything at the last minute to be with your precious child because they just love them so very,very much is nearly impossible!

I wish it were even as simple as only having to call ONE person, setting a time, and going off on your fun night out.  Oh no… finding a sitter takes far more time and carefully planning than that, my lovelies!

The process actually goes something like this…

I find a sitter (usually a recommendation from a friend). I call her, leave a voice mail, and wait for her to call back. She checks her schedule and realizes she’s babysitting for my friend that night. Bummer! 

So I call another sitter and wait for her response. She calls back a day later, checks her calendar, and says she can do it but can’t come until after my event has begun. I tell her to pencil me in, but Gah! I really need to be there on time so I call yet another sitter to see if she can come sooner… and back and forth and back and forth.

As much as I adore my children, I also appreciate the time I have alone or just with my hubby… and my goodness, have I earned it once I find, schedule, and get the sitter to my house!

Introducing SitterScout, an app that makes booking babysitters a breeze!

This clever little app works from any mobile device or computer. It helps book your existing babysitters faster, by instantly contacting one you prefer and enabling them to respond right away through a text message.

How does it work?

SitterScout is…

• Free to use. (Data rates from your carrier do to apply)
• Easy to set up .
• Completely private.
• Completely safe.

Only you can see your sitters’ information. Conversations are held one-on-one via SMS text messages. You only give out the info you want and chose who to contact first! It will even send a “nevermind” notice to the other sitters once the job has been accepted.

Schedule your babysitters with SitterScout. It’s so simple a dad can even do it. 

Getting the kids out the door this morning last week, I took one look at my son’s school shoes– the ones with the giant holes and tears worn right through the leather- and decided it was worth braving the mall to get him new ones. I promised the kids that we would go right after school. When I showed up at school pick-up, they had NOT forgotten.

They were so excited and in good spirits that I took the opportunity to gently explain to them about our temporary living arrangements once our lease ends in March.  “Mommy and Daddy, found a new house for us today… “ 

Both kids had lots of questions about the house, but each talking over the other in their own adorable, but obsessive little way. Lou was mostly concerned about “which bedroom is the ‘princess’ one” and can it be hers. Scout was worried about what to do in case of a fire. Then, he imagined an intricate escape route from the top floor involving ropes and a box labeled “In Case of Fire”.

I told them “Yes, yes. Of course!” Smiled, then squeezed their little hands extra tight as we crossed the busy parking lot into mall.

Feeling generous (and a heap of guilt), I told both children they can pick out any shoes they want from the Stride Rite. (BOGO! Woot!) Afterwards, we rewarded ourselves with macaroons. (I fortified myself a cappuccino.) We made our way to the Disney store, then Pottery Barn Kids. They ran marathons around the mall until it was time to go home for dinner.

Hey kids, life will still be normal for us. Sure, life’s a cluster right now, but everything else will be the same. See. See. Please think that everything will be okay, because I don’t… 

As we were exiting the mall, we passed by a kiosk selling remote controlled helicopter. Of course, it caught my my son attention. I have to admit that I was pretty impressed with them as well, but not enough to relent when he asked for one.  I told him, “No, not today”, but secretly filed it in the back of my head for “possible birthday ideas”.

His response?

“Life is unfair! We still don’t have a helicopter!”

Of all of the things that have happened to us recently, THAT is what my son considers to be “unfair”…

And the winner is…  Rachel Veuve (@VeuveFamily).  Yay! Congratulations!

She will receive a $75 Visa Gift Card courtesy to put towards her own “Delightful Discovery” and the full product line of Quaker Oatmeal Squares. 

But, wait! There’s more… You still have a chance to get a  FREE sample box of Quaker Oatmeal Squares Brown Sugar for yourself to up to ten of your friends just by “Liking”  the Quaker Oats Facebook page (… if you haven’t already) See, everybody wins!

Disclaimer: This post and giveaway was sponsored by Quaker Oats. I was compensated for this post, however the thoughts and opinions expressed above are my own and do not reflect those of  Facebook, Quaker or its parent company, PEPSICO. I was asked to discuss my Delightful Discoveries for Leap Day and offer a giveaway to promote their new Honey Nut Quaker Oatmeal Square. 

This Leap Day I was invited to make a “Delightful Discovery”… to use the “extra” twenty-four hours to try something new and out of the ordinary!

With Leap Day coinciding with a typical old Wednesday with its early dismissals and karate lessons at 3 pm and dinner at 5pm, blah, blah, blah... that pretty much ruled out driving to Mexico and spending the day at a resort. It certainly would have been “delightful” to “discover” what running away from home would feel like…

So with only an morning to my disposal, I opted for something local, but still new. I decided to walk the Stanford Dish, which is quite literally a giant  radio telescope in the middle of no where-ish in the foothills near Stanford University. This scenic area serves many purposes– research, habitat conversations, environmental restoration, and a jogging trail spanning just a bit over 4 miles.

The circular trail around the Dish offers daunting hills and the best view of the Bay Area. On a clear day you can see all of Silicon Valley, San Francisco, and as far as the East Bay. Just beyond that line of trees is busy little 280, but you would never know it from where I stood.

(It’s so beautiful and serene that you almost forget that you are actually fighting elbow-to-elbow for space down below and housing prices will make you weep daily. Almost.)

I happened to make the trek on a overcast and rainy day, which I considered my penance for failing at 2012, but more on that later…

It took me just under two hours to walk the four miles of the trail. I was mostly in solitude expect for the occasionally jogger and a man Irish Step Dancing at the top of the trail. I took great glee in his glee at that!

I was in no rush. I stopped to take practice shots for an online photography class that I’ve been doing lately. I caught up on my favorite podcasts. I cleared my head of all the clutter that I’ve been dealing with lately. Overall, it was a great day!!!

Interesting to note, cell reception is terrible the closest you are to the Dish, which is another reason that I love this place. No distractions!

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You still have an chance to enter (and WIN!) my Quaker Oats Leap Day Giveaway. Drawing will be held at 11:59 pm PST on Friday, March 2, 2012 and the winner will be notified via Twitter or email.  Enter! Enter! Enter!

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Disclaimer: This post and the Quaker Oats Leap Day Giveaway was sponsored by Quaker Oats. I was compensated for this post, however the thoughts and opinions expressed above are my own and do not reflect those of  Facebook, Quaker or its parent company, PEPSICO. I was asked to discuss my Delightful Discoveries for Leap Day and offer a giveaway to promote their new Honey Nut Quaker Oatmeal Square.