Marble Jar is a clever little parenting app inspired by Parenting On Track™, a program that emphasizes the relationship strategies for guiding children towards positive behaviors, rather than quick-fixes and behavioral controls.
The goal is to teach parents practical and collaborative methods that encourage every member of the family to participate in the life of the family, according to their age level and abilities. By having everyone participate, the end result is a stronger, respectful, and fulfilling family life.
How does the Marble Jar App support the Parenting On Track™ Philosophy?
Parenting On Track™ focuses on two things: the relationship between parent and child and the ability to raise independent, self-sufficient, thinking people. So what does this look like on a practical, day-to-day level?
According to parenting expert, Vicki Hoefle, from Parenting on Track, it’s about…
Focusing on all of the wonderful things happening in the house—the bright spots. The moments when you notice the best in your kids– when they show patience for a sibling who may have knocked over their building for the twentieth time or reading with an elderly relative. These are the things we miss because we as parents are so focused on correcting behavior.
This isn’t a radical philosophy, just one that is not often favored because it requires more time and thought on behalf of parents. However, the outcome is far more successful and lasting than “quick-fixes” or “punishments”.
The Marble Jar app provides a simple and fun way for parents to emphasize otherwise abstract concepts such as good manners, being a gracious winner/loser, or helping others, and turns them into observable steps that the whole family can do.
How does the Marble Jar App differ from other “parenting tricks”?
Since the release of the Marble Jar app earlier this year, many users immediately began adopting it as a way to “reward” good behavior, likening it more to a digital sticker chart, treats, or the like. As soon as the developers noticed that the app was being used in this way, they issued this statement:
Parenting On Track™ DOES NOT support the use of this app to dole out rewards. Parenting on Track™ DOES NOT advocate praising or rewarding as a means of building healthy relationships with children, fostering independence and helping children develop healthy self-esteem. It was never our intention for the application to be used in this manner.
I must admit that I was guilty of doing the same thing, until I had an opportunity to speak to its developers about the true intention of the app. The Winwin Apps developer behind Marble Jar, Anna Rosenblum Palmer, was the one who set me straight:
Unlike other parenting tools, Marble Jar is NOT about rewards. It’s about the natural consequences of practicing certain behavior. For example, if you want to work on being a good guest or good host- public manners. Make the goal of your jars be about hosting or attending a party. If you want to work on environmental skills, go camping as a reward. The job of the parent and the children is to figure out what it is you are practicing and letting the celebration be related.
It’s also about celebrating the good things that are already happening in your fmaily and taking your emphasis away from the negative—nagging, leading, etc. If certain things are not working, then sit down with you family and ask, “How can we make this work well? What is our routine?”
Marble Jar is about working together to make your family life WORK. The unexpected bonus is that you get to cheer on and celebrate one another as you move towards your goals. When you have kids who are actively participating in the family, as opposed to kids who are just waiting on cues from Mom and/or Dad, you are fostering independence and helping them to create healthy habits.
What happens when you make this shift in a parent’s head? What impact does it truly have on a family?
Combining over twenty years of parenting education with modern technology, Marble Jar helps families set goals, create small actionable steps, track progress, and most important of all– celebrate success!
According to Vicki Hoefle,
When you make this congnative shift in a parent’s head and they start putting marbles in a jar every single time they see their kids are being remarkable- which, of course, they are a million times every single day, there is a shift from making kids compliant to raising thinking people.
No one will ever be judged in where they put away their shoes or how to they hang up their backpack on a hook. We are, however, driven by our ability to make good choices and be self-sufficient. With that in mind, we should be trying to create life long habits instead of waiting for cues from mom and dad.
Create a marble jar together that works for everyone. The intent is that when you do things repeatedly, you know what the expectations are, and things are consistent, children create healthy habits.
What are the questions parents should ask as they set up their jars?
The five types of jars that Marble Jar suggests you create are as follows:
- Jars that help you notice what’s working.
- Jars that help you build cooperation and teamwork in your family.
- Jars that help your child develop strong, useful habits.
- Jars that help your child manage the daily tasks in his or her life.
- Jars that help kids earn privileges by demonstrating consistent responsibility.
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Marble Jar is available for the iPhone/iPad for FREE in the App Store. To learn more about this app, read:
- My introduction post on Marble Jar in which I outline how (and why) to start using this app.
- Creating a family mission statement using Marble Jar.
Disclosure: This post is the final part of a compensated series sponsored by Marble Jar . The thoughts and opinons expressed in this post are my own, and do not reflect those of Marble Jar or its founders.
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